Yall, I made it. I can't believe I made it. I mean, it was so hard to get that. And now I'm already beginning my career as a teacher. Dude, that was fast. I mean, I feel like I can't breathe, I can't keep up with the pace well.
But the beginning is always hard. So, I'm just gonna be super positive about this and everything. Now what's left is my worries. My shortcomings. My lacking virtue as a good friend, I guess. Back when I was in school, we moved a lot, so I don't have any close friends. Even in Permata. I'm an introvert. I'm not that person who people would love to keep as friends. Anyway, I was fine with it, I was okay with it until now, when everyone begins their careers already and I, I feel like I'm losing my 5-year friends.
My family hasn't been doing well since forever, and I guess I just grew to love my girl friends much more. But you don't always get what you give. I kinda realised that they have their own preferred group of friends and we were just being friends for formality because we attended the same college in the same class for 5 years. I guess that's how they felt about it.
I guess, when there are so many people who love you, you unintentionally take them for granted. I have to pay to get those love. I managed to get through everything until today just to have a broken family, difficult decision-making in life, confusion, and a broken heart. I'm not encouraging you to dwell on the past, we have to move on, but you can't definitely deny the effect those things got on you if we are ever in the same shoes.
I understand if they can't make time to meet me, they have families and friends to meet before the school opens. Being 24 next year, I kinda feel like my mind is slowly maturing. I know I'm sad about this but I don't tell people this. I just write those things here. It's not like you guys know me anyway. I feel a little secure, I guess.
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