Lately, my life hasn't and has been a bless for me. I renewed my id and it turned out horribly. I look so ugly even though I smiled, even when they always say that you need to smile to be pretty. My mood went down pretty bad I almost just cried because of a measly, stupid, new id card. I didn't talk to my dad in the car 'cause I need time. It's better not to talk to dad sounding annoyed, it'll hurt his feelings. However, I started to check my results for the first semester of P, and it turned out pretty good. I got 3.76 and that's an increase. It's plus 0.26 I was so happy.
So later, I keep thinking about the saying that goes "pretty looks won't get pretty brain and vice versa". Excuse me, I'm not saying that I'm clever or what, but I am naturally heading towards being clever than having good looks. However I often meet people with both brain and beauty so I start to think that the world may be unfair as well. After lots of thinking, I realised that I will not get all that I ever wanted in this life and so do the people. They may have what we always envy of, but those may not be important for them. They may as well want other things.
So I guess it's a matter of acceptance and being grateful in life. Afterall, I, myself, recognised my own lacks of look.
But, you know, I'm a freakin' girl. I still get so insecure thinking that people hate me because I look so fierce and not friendly and ugly. I get nervous talking to the boys 'cause we're literally different. And I still think that I might have made mistakes that people don't end their conversations with me correctly, but leave me hanging. So I thought they are probably busy and it takes me quite some time to check if there's anything going on there, anything that might be keeping them busy that they couldn't end their conversation politely. When I knew that they were busy afterall, I keep thinking on why, why do I have to be left like this like, firing out your workers without early notice.
I was upset, but I'm not now. I thought I could've been paid a little respect hahah 'cause I'm a human. I got human right y'know.
So hey it's me, in case you forgot. Bye.
