I Think, It's Back.

It's coming back, the dark feelings, overwhelming my mind, clouding my mental judgments. It's so depressing, I don't know what to say about it.

It silents me.

New Year, New Resolution, New Me?

A brand new year; can it be something?

Looking back at last year, I have been through a lot of situation, feelings and physical challenges. It shaped me the way I am now and I think that is something. What I thought was a trouble for me has now become one of the diamonds in my collection.

Depression was an issue. A likely reoccurring issue, but as long as I can handle things well, I still can get a grip of myself. So dark yet attracting the water was, that I found myself reaching out for the surface, gasping for mere air. I breathe in the water instead. I was devastated, lonely, confused. I needed someone, yet I didn't shout for help. That's how intense it was.

He came again, as I expected. But that's just it. He was just being himself; he comes and goes. Comes and goes. He comes like a sailing ship, he goes like a sailing ship too. Except that he takes a piece of me everytime he goes. So malicious he was, yet I stay still. I still stay.

A brand new year; can I be a brand new me?